yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
