And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
