Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
jump out the window naked night went bad
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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