wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
i out mim tonsoeep
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
