I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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