Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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