I'm going to jail i love you
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
