But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
