I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
