best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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