Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
