Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
