The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
my mouth tastes like poor choices
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
