More tranny stories later!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just pee around me
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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