he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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