She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
