she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Ladies don't puke and tell
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
