Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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