Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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