Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
