I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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