Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
