I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
