So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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