Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
