moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
