Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I have post one night stand depression
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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