just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
