Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
