man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
