:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
