If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
