My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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