Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
