and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
