THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
