Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
