just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
