Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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