I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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