Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
