have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
