oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just found puke in my bra..
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
