Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
