There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
