Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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