Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The feeling are messing with the penis
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
