I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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