He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
