yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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